Just a few random thoughts, ideas and questions on my mind that I thought I'd share:
- Why are bottled water bottles so cheap and flimsy nowadays? You can't even get the cap off without geysering yourself.
- What in God's name are they singing in those "Kayem" hotdog commercials? Try as I might, I just can't seem to make out the words. Is it even English?
- What exactly constitutes "honest" ingredients in pre-packaged food products? For that matter, what ingredients would be considered "dishonest"?
- Do cats see themselves in the mirror? Sometimes I think they do, but if that's the case, then why don't
they seem to recognize themselves? And even if they don't recognize themselves, you'd think they'd react to seeing another cat.... - Why is it that when someone asks for someone's opinion, they offer a penny, but when someone volunteers an opinion, it's worth two cents? Is this the new math, or just Keynesian economics gone awry?
- Pull-top canned goods are the greatest invention in recent history (and one of the most long overdue, I might add).
- Why can't I find chocolate-covered Altoids anymore? And while we're on the subject, I'd like to know who came up with the name "Altoids". Sounds like a particularly nasty medical condition, doesn't it: "I have Altoids".
- I was watching that old Stephen Spielberg movie "Duel" the other night. That's the one where Dennis Weaver plays a put-upon henpecked husband who's driving to a sales call on the California highways and byways and finds himself in a deadly fight for his life with a ticked-off truck driver that he passed on the highway. This was before anyone had coined the phrase "road rage". Great movie. But I found myself wondering (and not for the first time), why Dennis Weaver didn't just turn his car around and go home after the truck passed him the first time (or even the tenth)??
- Speaking of driving, precisely how much acceleration does it require to back your car through the
WALL of a parking garage?? And by the way, how do you do that and have no damage to the back end of your car?? - Carl Yastrzemski (aka "Yaz"): One of the most iconic (or as Boston Mayor Tom Menino would say, "ionic") players in Red Sox history. And, to my knowledge, the only pro athlete to have had a birth control pill named after him.
- "The X-Files" is and always will be one of the best shows in television history. Government conspiracies. Rampant paranoia. General spookiness. Oh, and one of the most (if not THE most) intelligent and engrossing television romances of all time. FBI Agents in love. It just doesn't get any better than that. More on this at a later date.
- I was reading an article the other day and one of the contributors was identified as someone who "studies disgust" (disgustologist?). Brother, if there was ever an indicator that we've gone too far with this "culture of outrage" business, then that would be it.
- Can anyone tell me what the purpose is of the "code search" button on the TV remote control (other than to act as a kill switch for the remote control, that is)? Seriously....
- Why is it that whenever someone uses the phrase "it's only human nature", it's usually in connection with something negative? What does that say about our nature as humans?
- How come they have flea and tick collars for dogs and cats but not for people? Wouldn't it be easier to wear one of those than to spray yourself head-to-toe with tick repellent?
- How come hotels stock their bathrooms with all kinds of fancy soaps and skin creams but never provide any paper towel so you can wipe out the sink and counter after each use? And speaking of such, if I were to find a hotel bathroom vanity that actually had functioning drawers in it, I think I could fall in love.
- Why is it that the officiating in NBA games has become such an open joke, but no one is doing anything about it (hello David Stern?)?
- I'm sure that Emeril is a fine chef and a fine human being, but his cooking show is unwatchable, primarily due to the fawning audience that "ooh"s and "aah"s with his every move. You'd think these people never saw parsley before.
- You know those fat "torso shots" of pedestrians the news shows always show when doing a story on obesity? I wonder if those people recognize themselves, or if the news stations just keep showing the same torsos over and over again?
- Every time I watch one of those "best pig-out joints" shows on the Travel Channel or on the Food Network and I see someone scarfing down a five-pound burrito, I can't help thinking that the rest of the world sees something like that and thinks that's how all Americans eat.
- I'm still miffed that Pluto has been de-planetized. If they weren't sure it was a planet, then shouldn't they have held off classifying it as such in the first place? Think of all the people who have come and gone and who died with the knowledge that there were nine planets when in fact there were only eight? What else in the canon of human existence will be reconsidered upon further review? Talk about revisionist history....
- Ever notice that your more traditional Communists have no sense of humor (and if you think I'm exaggerating, try to imagine Stalin or Lenin watching "The Three Stooges")? I'm pretty sure that explains the ultimate demise of the Soviet Union. Think about that, next time you're tempted to take yourself or your causes too seriously.
- Photo credit: Cat looking in mirror. Photo used by permission and license of RBerteig.
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